People send samples of colorful writing to Frank Bruni, who

People send samples of colorful writing to Frank Bruni, who curates them for us. This week’s, further curated by me:

And George Will lambasted lawmakers for their antics: “Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.), the very model of the legislator-as-spouter, says: ‘If you aren’t making news, you aren’t governing.’ Actually, Congress governing would make news.” (Hank Durkin, Charlotte, N.C.)
In The Toronto Star, Vinay Menon appraised the MAGA king’s hold on his subjects: “If Trump told his supporters Bigfoot just swiped his wallet outside a Burger King, millions of red hats would pile into jeeps and fan out across the Pacific Northwest with flashlights and shotguns. If Trump asked Marjorie Taylor Greene to surgically remove her arms and legs, her torso would be glued to a skateboard as she somehow still put her foot in her mouth.” (Lori Jamison, Vancouver B.C.)
On the electoral-vote.com website, Christopher Bates asserted that Ronald Reagan, in contrast to Trump, had a “fundamental decency” reflected in a sense of humor: “Trump couldn’t make a joke if you spotted him a chicken and a road.” (Lee Semsen, Richland, Wash.)